Can You Share What You Want?

By Robert - Last updated: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 - Save & Share - Leave a Comment

No matter what you think the determining factor of any relationship is, if you cannot share then you cannot accept love.

Many women believe that sex is enough in any relationship to keep is strong. At least that’s what men think women think that men want.

So we come to a critical chasm that exists between not only men and women but also what women want and what men want.

Men like to share, but they need to be told how to play nice. Women like to share but they need to be told how to play like men. This evens the ground so that there is a level playing field between men and women, and what women want in a relationship that also coincides with what men want in a relationship… and we’re back to sex again. Or are we?

Women sharing intimate moments with men is all about sex (so men try to believe). Men sharing intimate moments with women is all about emotion (so women want to believe).

Neither is totally true.

“How does it make you feel?” is a boundary that women and men cannot often successfully cross and be able to share the same feeling, physically and emotionally, together. So a breakup occurs, or a relationship never starts.

Are you feeling vulnerable, and able to be hurt, when you ask a man what you want him to do, to provide, to feel, in your relationship with him?

Do you share this vulnerability with him or does it haunt you, scare you so much, that you try your best to keep this emotional part of you locked up and under guard?

Is this anything like sharing in a healthy relationship?
Of course it isn’t!

If you cannot ask yourself what you want, and be truthful to yourself, then how can you accept any sort of answer from anyone else?

You cannot start to share until truth becomes a positive act with a positive response to yourself.

You cannot become a sharing person until you can verbally express what those needs are.

We come again to the woman that thinks a guy should just know what she needs, not accepting that a guy may also not be certain what he needs, so wrong choices are verbalized or chosen, or allowed to happen.

When you can own your sharing you own your emotions and have control over what you do accept as a positive part of any relationship you will have with a man, even with any other person.

Accepting the fact that you are allowed to have control over what you want, over how you are treated and over what you will share is a major step in the positive growth of any person, woman or man.

You can have your needs met when you can share what your needs are.
You are not putting yourself on the line when this is what you expect from others, you are promoting the fact that you are human, you have needs, you want to share and that all of this needs to be a main factor of any positive relationship you are a part of.

Think about how this affects your life, how this affects your relationships.
Consider the things you have wanted to share but were too afraid of condemnation to open up these feelings, these needs, these emotions, with someone.

Think about how your life would be different right now if you could go back in time and be more positive, more demanding, more certain about speaking up to what you expect from the relationships you have had that failed or are on rocky ground now. Not in a needy way, or a petulant mood, but in a positive “This will be good for the both of us” spirit.

When you can take the step to share these things you become a person that will affect positive change to all the people you encounter.

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