Inside The Mind of a Man

A Valuable Lesson

I learned a valuable lesson today. My wife continues to surprise me.

She’s been having a hard time of late. She started a new job, as the assistant manager of a retail woman’s clothing store.

The staff she has varies in age from 18 to 55, with my wife at 42 it’s been a challenge for her to understand the other woman’s moods. Some are quiet, some bordering on defiance of her.

And she’s new at the job, trying to not make any enemies. But as a result she’s being pushed around, surprisingly enough by the younger staff members.

I’m sure that you’re familiar with the 20-somethings that like to push around their attitude and their ‘worldliness’.

My wife has been coming home, almost in tears and sometimes quite angry at how she’s been treated. And her boss, the manager, says she’ll back her up but doesn’t want to ‘create waves’ with the other girls so she let’s my wife stand up for herself.

We’ve had many talks about what she’s doing and how she’s being treated. I know the best i can do is let her talk and not try to fix the problems for her. She needs to vent.

But it became too much yesterday and I explained to her that I’m here for her, and I will listen without being judgmental, but now it is my time to speak out.

It was my patience of listening to her for the past few weeks, and knowing enough that she needed to be heard more than helped that guided me, but tonight I had to give my thoughts about her predicament and how to handle the women at work.

I didn’t tell her to stand up for herself, to stop worrying so much about what the other women thought (or what she through they thought about her), I explained that if I were her I would approach these issues head on.

And we talked for over an hour about her job, the expectation she has about her own performance and how she felt about the other women and their behavior.

I didn’t lecture, I didn’t get angry or and I did not get impatient or tired about the subject of the conversation.

It was the listening that I did over the past month that gave me insight into her particular problems and worries. Insights that I never would have had if all I did was try to “fix” her problems as soon as they were out of her mouth (guys, listening is the best tool we have to understanding our wives!).

Too often we men will try to fix the problems before trying to just listen.

I listened and I took a large burden from my wife’s shoulders. And she will go into work tomorrow better prepared for what will happen.

That you, Rori, for giving me the tool of listening as the larger part of communication with my wife.

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