Let’s get it right the first time, eveyone has “drama” in their lives. How you react to it is exactly how it will affect you.

If you want to be free from “issues” and “drama” you need to be almost confrontational.

As in “Why would you say that to me?” or “Who really cares what happens to them?”

Life’s little dramas are what make other’s lives more colorful but put a downward pressure on our own lives.

Today I urge you to rise above it all.

Let their “dramas” play out without our intervention, or even interest.

You’re calmness will become a beacon for all others suffering under the weight of their friends “issues” and you will attract calmness to you.

No related posts.

Now, I’m older than she is, she’s still in university, so I have the benefit of some experience that I offer to her regularly.

What concerns her most is not having a boyfriend.

She’s busy with school and with a part-time job, but she feels incomplete without a boyfriend to share her experiences with.

It’s hard to tell someone that their life is going as it should when they think it isn’t.

It’s also hard to help her to “be ready” to meet a great guy when she feels so overwhelmed by the whole dating thing and why she’s had no luck meeting guys that want to do something other than just hooking up with her.

I feel her pain. I truly do.

The one thing that you have to remember, is that being single is not a curse, it’s a time of great importance.

Being single allows you to experience life through only your own eyes, without the influence and demands of another person.

As Christian Carter says in “Catch Him & Keep Him” you have to be capable of taking the responsibility of what happens around you.

When my friend can turn around her emotions about her current predicament (being single) and live to enjoy this time of her life her personality will begin to be much more positive. And being a positive person makes you very attractive.

I asked her how she met her previous boyfriends (just two guys) and she told me about meeting them through friends, they went to the same high school, etc.

I asked her how her outlook on life has changed from her high school days and she told me that she is finding more direction in her life. She knows what she wants to have as a career, she’s not “lost” like she was after her last breakup.

She is making the first steps to pursuing her dreams; she is mapping out her future; she is beginning to be very happy with her life.

When I point this out to her she becomes reflective. As she looks back over the last two years she understands that she has been chasing two different dreams, having a career and having a boyfriend.

“You can only have one master” I tell her. Once she saw that she wanted to complete school and move forward with her life she became much more happy with her current single status.

She found a realistic outlook on her life that she could live with.

She became positive in her goals and, even as a part-time sales clerk, her improvement of having this realistic and positive outlook on her life brought her to a point where her sales picked up, she made more money.

Her school tasks took first place in her life and she enjoyed her time with friends and co-workers more.

And she started to attract a few nice guys to her, I say “Like moths to a flame”, because of her change in accepting responsibility for the “place” she was in and by changing her understanding of how she looked at her life and it’s challenges, allowed her to open up and be more accepting of how her life was turning out.

She’s happily dating, finishing the final term of this year’s courses and remaining positive.

She tells me that she has a couple of really nice guys showing an interest in her, and that she’s happy to not have the pressure of an intense relationship at this point in her life.

I know she’s accepting her life and that her newfound positiveness will bring great guys her way.

This is already manifesting itself in her life.

If you see yourself in this type of situation, you too can change your life around by beginning the steps to understanding yourself and men, how your life is revealing itself and how you can take the power of change into your own hands.

I urge you to read Christian Carter’s ebook “Catch Him & Keep Him” and find the starting path to a better relationship with yourself and others.

You owe yourself a great life, take these first steps and don’t turn back.

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Open Heart Intimacy

Of course, now I know that being intimate doesn’t always revolve around sex, even if I still behave that way… sometimes.

So what is an “intimate moment”?

I’m probably going to get a lot of flack about this but believe that there are degrees, levels if you will, of intimate behaviour.

Just as you love chocolate ice cream differently than you love your mother, there is intimacy with friends, family and lovers that are different.

So, if you can be intimate on different levels with different people, why is it so bad to say that you have an intimate relationship with someone?

Does intimacy have to be sexual? Of course not.

Do you need intimacy in your relationships? Of course you do.

How will someone understand the “real you” without being intimately familiar with who you are and why you’re the way you are?

But I’ve gotten off track, as usual.

Intimacy, in varying degrees, affects every relationship and interaction you have with another person.

There, I’ve said it.

Now, to why intimacy is lost in today’s world:
- People try hard to protect themselves from loss and rejection. They try to not be intimate to keep themselves free from worry about what someone actually thinks of them.
- People try to not expose themselves to ridicule, keeping their words guarded, and their emotions in check.

If you keep yourself encased in a hard shell you will never be intimate with someone because they cannot get in. And you lose because you cannot have real intimacy without opening yourself up to the possibility that someone may actually not like you in the same way you like them.

Intimacy, is its most potent form, involves not only the sharing of your body but your mind and soul as well. It’s this very real fear of being exposed that intimacy has been dragged from its pedestal to the ground as something to be avoided at all costs.

“Bury your feelings!”

“Keep yourself free from rejection!”

You can hear the screams from so many dating artists and gurus that the deafening rush of noise drowns out all real and personal thought.

Take this one question test right now:
- When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

If you had to think longer than 2 seconds for an answer, then you’re one or all of:
1) Lonely
2) Very afraid, and
3) Unhappy with your own real potential for love.

Intimacy actually frees you from your fear of intimacy! When you can climb down the tree and hug someone, and mean it, then you are on the road to “intimacy recovery’.

Intimacy means caring for someone else’s well-being, no matter if you’re a salesperson or potential lover. Putting someone else ahead of your fear creates a new person in you: a person ready to be exposed and not be afraid of life and love; of personal responsibility for the happiness of yourself and another at the same time.

Intimacy deserves not to be a word and action that you are afraid of, rather an action and emotion that frees you from the slavery of the emotional shackles that hinder your personal growth.

Intimacy, by its real definition, creates a new being, a new soul, between two people that share an understanding, an event and a bargain: that both will gain in the exchange of the intimate moment, regardless of the level of intimacy involved.

Intimacy can be described as a line that connects you with all people that come into your thoughts, into your world and into your influence. Intimacy zigs and zags as relationships are formed and tossed away.

Intimacy exists in the calmness of your tranquil life and also in the chaos of exchange between you and people during events that are seemingly out of your control.

Intimacy is hated because it demands that you are bared to the control of another, you are taught that intimacy cannot exist in a state of change but intimacy is change! The cycles of your life can be traced through the intimate moments that you have shared with others, from birth, through sadness and joy, and into death, the final intimate revealing of emotions and feelings.

You can become a person that welcomes intimacy into your life.

You are not lost to the emotion that does not rule your life but rather enriches the moments that bind you with others, not in battle but in friendship and more.

You can learn intimacy, one step at a time.

Start at the beginning and try to remember the first time you felt uncomfortable around another person. What threatened you? What scared you? How can you gain control type of event again?

When you can master intimacy you can also protect your emotions by being tied to your revelation of intimacy. Showing intimacy commands acceptance or rejection. There can be no other response.

The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.

The attraction of intimacy is not sexual but emotional, a reliance on another to receive what you cannot create by yourself.

If have the hope that you will take at least one thing with you from this writing of mine: Ownership.

Ownership of what you feel and why you feel it.

You are the owner of your emotions; you are the revelation of your “self” to others. You are the central atom that attracts intimacy, just as a hydrogen molecule revolves around an oxygen molecule to create water, your life is the central force for how you enjoy and permit intimacy as others revolve, enter and exit your life.

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Why romance is missing in your relationship is because you’ve let it go to sleep and have lost the method to wake it up again.

Romance takes two. A romantic moment can happen at any time and you’re likely missing these small moments because they either are simply missed, or not acted upon and not recognized any more.

If your complaint is that your husband is boring, your marriage is boring, I have to ask you: when did you first notice that the excitement of your relationship started to disappear?

Was there a time that you noticed that routine had taken over your lives?
When was it that you and your husband started to “drift apart”, captured by hobbies and events that you both do separately?

Some relationship experts say that doing some things apart is good for the growth of your relationship. And it is.

But only if there remains time for the two of you to share during the week that is out of this routine that you find yourself in.

So you need to be the driving force behind recreating romance and adding more togetherness in your relationship.
Trust me, complaining that there is no romance in your relationship to your spouse only drives him farther away!

This brings us to the steps you can start with to bring romance, and closeness, back into your relationship.

Step one
Become more aware of the times you are together, through your daily routine there are many opportunities to show your love to your husband without breaking his routine which would end up backfiring on you and pushing him away.
Examples:
In his lunch, jacket pocket, place short notes “I’m thinking of you”, “Can’t wait until you’re home tonight”, etc.
Text him a short note about what dinner will be, when you’ll see him, anything to connect without placing expectations on him. Remember, step one is about reminding him, waking him up to romance again.

Step two
Start planning time in your evening that you can just be together. This has to be a time before bedtime. And this can be a period as short as even ten minutes spent together, on the couch, in the kitchen, just being together and reading is fine. This becomes a relationship period that you share, a way to “de-stress” together. This will not happen over night and needs to be worked on. Even if you have to start this period yourself, and simply invite your spouse to join you, do it.
Keep this time at the same time every night. Try not to let other events make this time random throughout your day, week and month.

Step three
Creating your date night again. You remember date night, don’t you? This was when it was just the two of you, maybe a simple dinner and a movie on the couch at home or a night out together with someone else doing the cooking and taking the time to enjoy each other and the place you are in.

The quality of your romantic moments together is what really matters. Life get’s boring and stressful but it’s only you that has the power to change how you accept things.

Starting a “discussion” that leads to an argument and a series of complaints that the romance is gone is not the way to wake up the romance in your marriage.

You have the power to choose to make small changes in how you approach romance and your husband will follow, even if this takes a week or a month of making this time available for the both of you to be together.

Invitations offered to him to share this time together will help to “re-teach” him the romance you once shared and then to rediscover feelings of love that have been cluttered over with the regular junk of life.

It is only by sharing together some quality time will romance again become a part of your special routine.

Extra bonuses for you

Here are more ideas of how to prepare your husband into finding his romantic side again.

Buy him a shirt that he can wear when you do go out together (many men like to be dressed by their better half for special occasions)
Send him a text message that invites him to some “special time” with you.
Buy a revealing piece of lingerie to model for him.
Invite him to go on a walk with you to have time together, holding hands and enjoying the neighborhood.
Cook a favorite meal, add flowers and candles. Even if it’s just frozen pizza!
When you pass him something, maybe even a magazine or the tv remote, pass with your hand and not just your fingertips and make contact with his hand and hold it, just for a split second. Generate contact within the small instances of touches during your day.

Remember: above all it is you that has the power of changing the dynamics of your relationship.
It is you that has the power to choose to do or not do.
Wake up romance and end the boredom that has crept into your relationship.

Article by Robert Lee, contributor to The Modern Siren Blog
Awake the Siren within you and recapture romance. Discover powerful new tools that will keep your husband attracted to you forever.

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Does that make sense?

You’ve certainly seen how men behave when confronted with a problem.

They hunker down and logically go through the process of finding the solution step by step. They invite friends to help with this breakdown process until the ‘thing’ is fixed and congratulations can be offered all around.

But when an emotional issue arises they don’t have the tools to deal with it. And neither do the men that could help with other physical and mechanical problems.

Yet, a man emotionally connects to you, physically reacts to you, and still doesn’t understand the process of how he discovers attraction and love.

His woman leads him through this process of endearment and commitment. When his woman can communicate how to express the love he feels that connection grow and become stronger with every effort she makes.

A man needs to be lead down the road of love to discover his romantic side, to create in him the emotional frontier that he has yet to explore.

Force and compulsion do not work to bring a man to reveal his romantic side. You cannot, by force, have a man reveal his deeply romantic feelings for you.

Leading a man to reveal his love for you is a matter of understanding that a man feels love he does not have ownership over it.

A man’s love is a shared experience or it does not exist at all.

We are going well beyond the physical, sexual attraction that may have been the flame that started the fiery passion you have shared into the less understood area of what compels a man to proclaim his love for you.

And for you to identify that the man you have attraction for is the man that will remain with you always, yours in a committed relationship that will survive the certain rocky issues that will arise.

Will you, not your man, have the strength and skills to navigate the rough patches and remain the model of love that he has known and may have seem to have put aside for other endeavours?

Just as men do not share their emotions with other men (rarely), they will share their emotions with the woman that has led him to the safe places where his emotions can be revealed, expressed and accepted only when it is emotionally safe to do so.

If there was one ideal of love that we could all aspire to love would truly not exist. Love would become a “place” that all could equally find.

Love is not a pilgrimage, a once in a life time event.

Love is travelling on the long relationship road with an understanding, caring and patient partner.

You are that partner. You want to be that person.

You can choose to have love redeem your efforts and reward you with the caring man you want to have again in your life. Reclaim romance.

Your romantic man is there; he has just lost his way.

Through life’s changes you have become separated and the both of you are straying from the intense love you had at the beginning.

But this love is not lost.

This passion has not been completely extinguished; it has merely been covered over with the layers of adult and family responsibilities, work complexities and routine hum-drum activities.

Break the routine cycle and reclaim love. You know where your love is, on what part of the road love lies.

It is your responsibility to bring your man closer to you again.

Help him find his emotional desire. For you.

Start your efforts to get the romance back by understanding when this separation on the road of love started to happen. Was it a change in jobs? A new baby? Outside forces that demand too much attention?

I CARE

Identify

Claim

Attract

Renewal

Excitement

Five steps that will bring you closer than ever before in your current relationship or a new relationship in the future.

Identify: Take the time to determine when your relationship romance went from hot to warm, and now cool, if simmering at all. When you can identify these changes in your life together you can find the way to deal with them and accept the changes as a part of a maturing relationship.

Claim: Claim ownership of your emotional life, of love and all the efforts that will have to be made to reignite your passion together. You have the power to restart the burning hot flame of passion that you previously shared. Love to takes two to share but only one flame to reignite the fire.

Attract: Start with the small steps that will bring your separate roads together again. Love and affection that is shared is the attraction that binds two people together. No grand gestures required, small doses of deep thoughts, small touches of caring. These bring attraction to the top of your togetherness.

Renewal: As you rediscover love together there is renewal in your relationship. New life in your love. Accept the things you can change and you will find your relationship renewing itself into a new cooperative togetherness that can only be shared my maturing love.

Excitement: Take the joy you have together into new areas of excitement and energy to be shared. Create excitement in small doses and large moves that inspire the inner emotional spirit to reclaim the feeling of love you share.

I CARE

And so you will follow this as a new ritual, a new boundary of what you can do and what you can create to inspire love to bloom in your relationship. Fidelity and trust is the cooperative emotional balance that you will hold as the bar to strive for.

This is your opening introduction to the power you have; to the power you have to choose the romance you will have in your life.

I am excited for you. This begins a new opportunity of love and passion for you to share with the man in your life.

This is truly the first step to many revelations of your relationship. I am very excited for you.

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Many women believe that sex is enough in any relationship to keep is strong. At least that’s what men think women think that men want.

So we come to a critical chasm that exists between not only men and women but also what women want and what men want.

Men like to share, but they need to be told how to play nice. Women like to share but they need to be told how to play like men. This evens the ground so that there is a level playing field between men and women, and what women want in a relationship that also coincides with what men want in a relationship… and we’re back to sex again. Or are we?

Women sharing intimate moments with men is all about sex (so men try to believe). Men sharing intimate moments with women is all about emotion (so women want to believe).

Neither is totally true.

“How does it make you feel?” is a boundary that women and men cannot often successfully cross and be able to share the same feeling, physically and emotionally, together. So a breakup occurs, or a relationship never starts.

Are you feeling vulnerable, and able to be hurt, when you ask a man what you want him to do, to provide, to feel, in your relationship with him?

Do you share this vulnerability with him or does it haunt you, scare you so much, that you try your best to keep this emotional part of you locked up and under guard?

Is this anything like sharing in a healthy relationship?
Of course it isn’t!

If you cannot ask yourself what you want, and be truthful to yourself, then how can you accept any sort of answer from anyone else?

You cannot start to share until truth becomes a positive act with a positive response to yourself.

You cannot become a sharing person until you can verbally express what those needs are.

We come again to the woman that thinks a guy should just know what she needs, not accepting that a guy may also not be certain what he needs, so wrong choices are verbalized or chosen, or allowed to happen.

When you can own your sharing you own your emotions and have control over what you do accept as a positive part of any relationship you will have with a man, even with any other person.

Accepting the fact that you are allowed to have control over what you want, over how you are treated and over what you will share is a major step in the positive growth of any person, woman or man.

You can have your needs met when you can share what your needs are.
You are not putting yourself on the line when this is what you expect from others, you are promoting the fact that you are human, you have needs, you want to share and that all of this needs to be a main factor of any positive relationship you are a part of.

Think about how this affects your life, how this affects your relationships.
Consider the things you have wanted to share but were too afraid of condemnation to open up these feelings, these needs, these emotions, with someone.

Think about how your life would be different right now if you could go back in time and be more positive, more demanding, more certain about speaking up to what you expect from the relationships you have had that failed or are on rocky ground now. Not in a needy way, or a petulant mood, but in a positive “This will be good for the both of us” spirit.

When you can take the step to share these things you become a person that will affect positive change to all the people you encounter.

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We all know that “the guy” is not going to ask you out on the spot… even if he’s dying to ask you out he’s too afraid of “rejectionitis” and won’t make the first move.

So this is what you say to him… exactly these words:
“Stop! I know that you want to ask me out and this is the right time so…”

There are no more hints… no more “black ops” to find out his info, his details… you have made the bold play, the ‘confrontation’.

This is the time to put the deer (him) in the headlights (your bold statement and question) and see if you run him over (his ‘rejectionitis’ kicks in and he leaves, you, forever) or he sidesteps the killing machine and lives to actually complete your sentence and says “… I want to take you out somewhere.”

You can twist his answer later to have him take you to the place of your choosing (Hint: you should have the place already picked out, and maybe the time too, within the next 48 hours).

Women have the power of ‘choice’ over men. They just don’t know how to use it. But it is revealed in the DVD program “Inside the Mind of a Man” by Christian Carter.

If you have some adventure in you… or are just tired of “waiting for him to make the first move” then clicking here is your next step.

Join the thousands of women that Christian Carter has helped to better understand men, and use the female power you have inside you to date the men you want.

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All that being said I will add my own ideas into the mix – men don’t show their romantic emotions because:
- they are afraid to open up
- their intense fear of rejection even causes insecurities when rejection is no longer an issue
- men don’t understand their emotional nature

The last reason is the strongest opinion I have: “men don’t understand their emotional nature”.

If you want to guide your man into understanding how he can be romantic, how he can explore his intimate feelings without resorting to charades and games, it’ll take some patience on your part.

Start romance slowly. I suggest having a pre-planned romantic night on a regular time, like the fourth Thursday of every month, or something similar. Don’t force him to live up to your romantic expectations right away, after all, many men think handing you a bunch of flowers is romance, so you have a lot of work to do.

Start simply with a nice candlelit dinner, home or out.
Eventually include romantic movies at home, snuggling up under a blanket.
You’ll want to introduce exotic massage eventually… some fun, intimate times you can share.

Those things go beyond the scope of this article but you do know where you can find out more… right here.

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