Is this something that should be left up to the guy?

No, of course not. Unless you just want to “hang around” and “hang out” all the time.

If you leave the decision of where to go and what to do to the guy what do you get?
“Let’s go somewhere and do something” is what you get.

No commitment to anything real, just an “idea” of what to do… an “abstract” thing.
That’s what you get.

Now, as the woman of the relationship, if you have the “plan”, if you decide the “place” he will follow along because every guy hates to be wrong, so by following your lead he doesn’t make a mistake about entertaining you.

Think about that for a minute:
By choosing what to do, and telling your guy what you want to do together, you are actually re-inforcing his masculinity, ensuring his maleness and helping him to avoid rejection, the number one fear every guy has.

When a woman accepts “something” and “somewhere” as the place and time to be together you are actually being submissive and as that you lose respect and interest from the guy you’re with.

If you accept only firm plans from your guy, and are ready to tell him specifically what to do and when as a date, then you gain not only control over your relationship but you gain interest from your guy because he can’t (usually) disappoint you when you decide what to do.

If you a guy, when you first are dating or even if the relationship hasn’t gone so far yet, if you only accept solid plans of what to to with him, if you only accept a date when it’s asked for a couple of days in advance, if you never immediately reply to a text or voicemail, you will have control over how the guy sees you, acts towards you, and respects you.

And he will understand that you are a woman of value, high value, that demands his best.
And he will either choose to give you his best or choose to not be involved with you.

That will show you, within days of first meeting/dating him, how you will be treated throughout the rest of your relationship, should there be one.

This is a normal part of attraction and how you handle this moment of tension is going to play out in the relationship you both have in the following minutes, days and weeks, if there is any relationship at all.

The proper way to deal with tension in a budding relationship is with confidence and being positive. If you want to men to react positively towards you, you must be positive towards him; bright and bubbly always wins out.

If the man is cold and unfriendly, that’s a turnoff. If you are nervous and mumbling, that’s a turnoff.

To attract a good man you need to be an equally good woman, or there is a defect in the coming relationship. Maybe too much reliance on the other, too much enabling to be a healthy, loving and growing relationship.

But back to handling the tension in the first moments.

There are a few body language movements that you should make to keep your nervousness under control. If you’re sitting, sit up straight. If you are standing, stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, put your chin up, look the man directly into the eyes.

When you control your body language so that it reveals a positive tone you get control over your voice and your emotions are in check because of your positive stance.

And being in a positive stance will also control your mood and there’s nothing that’s more attractive to men, emotionally stable men, and a positive and assertive woman. As long as she doesn’t cross the line of being overly assertive and venturing into the “masculine zone”, which is another topic for another article and is also discussed in the “Inside the Mind of a Man” program.

If a handshake is offered, take it, if it is not offered, offer the handshake. Do not be afraid to make the first moves.

If you were to ask 100 men if they were offended when a woman made the first moves you would have 90 of them saying they would not be offended. So try not to be nervous, if it is up to you to make the first moves when you’re attracted to a man.

You want to keep in mind that often men have a harder time in talking with women, in dealing with this inner conflict, than they show.

If you want to learn more about how conflicted men are and how you can better understand men in the initial phases of attraction than I highly recommend you preview the Christian Carter DVD program “Inside the Mind of a Man”. Click here and enter your name and e-mail address on the next page for your free preview.

Wishing you better success in finding a healthy relationship,
Robert Lee